This is a word I have always associated with sci-fi novels and young-adult series. I never thought I would find myself living in one.

I think I’m starting to feel the effects of taking too much Ativan last night, because my mood swings are pretty real. I am currently in the low part. So maybe I’m being dramatic, but am I really?

Donald Trump is the President of the United States of America. I feel sick just thinking those words. Nobody knows what the next 4 years will bring, but there is plenty of reason to believe it won’t be good. And I, for one, am fucking terrified.

This situation is completely unprecedented. This is virgin territory. It could end with a Nuclear war. It could end with climate change causing mass chaos and widespread deaths. It could end with genocide. Or, everything might be okay. But we don’t know.

I know how ridiculous I must sound to anybody dealing with tragedy already. If you’re a widow trying to raise your children and keep them safe in Syria, if you’re a family member of somebody murdered by a police officer last year, if you are days from starving to death in sub-Saharan Africa, you already know. You know that boundless pain and suffering is endured on this planet daily. I recognize the sad fact that I am only worried now because the suffering could impact me or those who look like me. I am sorry.

But we are living in scary times. And now I’m thinking about my ex in a similarly bleak way, so it’s very possible that I just need to sleep. I don’t know



4 thoughts on “Dystopia

  1. hey, for what its worth, this might be one of those intersections between depression and a genuinely bad situation.

    and for what its worth, i viewed the election as a battle to decide the lesser of two evils– which means no matter who won, we had some kind of evil ready to happen that hopefully, we will overcome.

    on top of that, im not just saying that trump is evil. nope. im actually saying that the administration will probably find a way to bring some evils into our life.

    but the people he ran against, present their own problems. in other words, theres an overabundance of reasons to be depressed.

    all im trying to say is, i dont think youre crazy. i dont think you should totally lose hope– and i hope you dont lose hope. the world is awash in the rhetoric of the election, and finally getting closer to speaking for itself instead. people are tired of being yoked by their own positions, into being tired and hysterical. being tired of that is a necessary step before people can really work to keep the world itself from going crazy. try to find some hope in that– there is some. (and it least if you are crazy, youve been in lots of good company lately. like half the world, perhaps?)


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