I am sad today.
I really don’t have a reason to be. Maybe it’s because I got high yesterday? More likely, it’s because I ended up thinking about my ex a lot yesterday. I went to meet a girl I’ve been talking to, and she was really cool, but I couldn’t help but compare the experience with meeting Jenn. It didn’t help matters that I had to take the bus past the stop where I used to get off to go to Jenn’s house.
When I met Jenn, everything happened so quickly. We hooked up the first time we really hung out, and a couple weeks of semicasual sex later, we were in a relationship. And I was completely crazy about her right from the beginning. I often found myself wondering why somebody so great would want to be with me. (The answer: She was irreparably emotionally damaged… and not in a good way) The girl I met with yesterday was great, but it wasn’t the same. And maybe it never will be the same. Maybe getting together with Jenn was the only time I’ll ever get to feel like that.
I should be ecstatic. I was yesterday. But instead, I’m wearing my favourite underwear and my sloth socks in hopes of cheering myself up.
I don’t really know what else to say about this. My painful trains of thought are typically much more elaborate, but this one isn’t. I just feel sad and I’m still thinking about that godforsaken breakup.