Side Note

I don’t want to make a whole post about this because I am trying not to think about it, but I am currently trying to eat more after a month of restriction following my breakup. For the first few weeks, this restriction was simply due to lack of appetite, which my depression had caused. But eventually, my Anorexia became triggered as I began getting used to my restrictive diet and enjoying the mild weight loss it had caused. In an effort to improve my mood and regulate my emotions, I have decided to start eating more again. This is difficult, because my appetite has not fully returned. Also, after having very limited variety in my diet for weeks, it is scary to begin eating new foods again. The most difficult part is letting go of the weight loss, as it feels like the only good thing happening in my life right now. But I know I will feel better when I am properly nourished and at my set-point weight. I am trying to do this mechanically, without giving it a second thought. But as I sit here eating cookies that scare me, while still feeling full from lunch, I need to tell someone how much this sucks.That’s all I will say on that topic.



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