I Can’t Today

When I left the hospital Sunday, I was the happiest I had felt in weeks. I had no desire to contact my ex again, and was happy to be alive. My ex can still go fuck herself, but so can my life.

Maybe I didn’t sleep enough last night, but I hate everybody today. Even my best friend. Especially my best friend.

She decided yesterday that she could be pregnant because she fucked up her birth control earlier in the month. Despite how unlikely this was given her shitty eating patterns, she took two tests. I was supportive. It’s a scary thing. I guess it made sense to take a test, just to be 100% sure. But two? Whatever. You do you. This morning, I got a message from her saying she was missing work to take another test at the Student Health Education Centre. I decided to meet her there after class, because still, I’m supportive as fuck.

But she messaged me back saying she was with her boyfriend, so it was okay. First of all, why message me then? For attention? You’re not fucking pregnant. And she’s turning this into a whole thing where they’re bonding and discussing what they would do if anything ever happened, but NOBODY IS PREGNANT. Stop looking for attention from your boyfriend and everybody else over a pretend issue. Some of us have nobody in our lives and want to die all the time. You’re lucky you have somebody to impregnate you.

I know I’m just a bitter bitch because nobody gives a shit about me. But I am over this day and it isn’t even 10:30 and I have linear algebra in 15 minutes, which I don’t want to go to. And then I have to go home and read a million textbook chapters and then possibly buy shoes and then go to a Social Anxiety group (room full of people not wanting to be in a room full of people? sounds like a blast), and then go to comedy night at the pub.  And some asshole in Calculus kept putting their feet up behind me, and that’s fucking disgusting. It isn’t related at all, but I’m pissed about that too.

That’s it for right now. Time for some fucking linear algebra.

Sarah

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