What the hell? Let’s write another post. It’s not like I’m doing anything more productive with my time, anyways.
I am really struggling right now. When I initially decided to end my relationship, I felt numb, and I was counting on that numbness to continue until after I wrote my exam. But that is not what is happening. I am overwhelmed with how horribly depressed and lonely I feel. Every second is painfully long. I check my phone every five minutes, expecting Jenn to text me, but she hasn’t, and she won’t.
I find myself hating everyone and everything, I am disappointed with the direction my life has taken, and I don’t know how I am g0ing to survive this. In theory, things will get better, but how long will that take? And how will I make it until then? How will I make it until 7:30, when my exam is scheduled to begin?
I apologize for how depressing this post is. I just don’t know what to do with everything I am feeling, and writing in my journal feels useless, so I am posting here. I hope somebody out there reads this, if only so I can feel some sort of connection to anybody anywhere.
I know it’s “just a breakup”, and I will feel better eventually, but I am having a really fucking hard time right now.